Another Year, Another Valentine’s Day, Another Birthday Alone...

Feb 12, 2025·By Victorious Bongi

Sad isn’t it? Well, this isn’t another blog post about being sad, lonely, and miserable. No. What is it about then? Well, borrow me a few minutes of your time and read on to find out.

Valentine’s Day: Singles Awareness Day or Rub It In My Face That I’m Single Day. Whatever it’s called. A lot of single men and women dread it as we move towards the middle of February. Over the years, like many of them, I hoped for a new relationship and that when January began I would meet someone over the first six weeks of the year, and not be alone for Valentine’s Day. Every year it always seemed like nothing was going to happen and it just didn't seem like anything would happen anytime soon. I had just spent the Christmas holidays alone only a few weeks ago, and feelings of sadness and hopelessness can powerfully return and start to take over.

Not only was spending Valentine's Day alone a dreadful experience but my birthday was coming up in less than a month. Besides spending every other holiday throughout the year alone, I got to spend the important holidays alone, those being Christmas and New Year. Valentine's Day did not mean anything to me but my birthday did. So, technically I was alone in December, January, February, March, the other months of the year, season after season, Winter, Summer, Spring, and Fall, repeat the cycle! Sad. Isn't it?

It’s not that you loathe seeing all of these new dating relationships, engagements, and marriages happening all around you. You just want to be part of it. You just want your chance. You just want to celebrate like everyone else is. I get it.

However, I’ve learned that there is nothing we can do to force God’s hand. Nothing. We might think we can with fervent prayer, fasting, service, celibacy, or any other of several things we try while we are single. The truth is that it's all about His timing, and His perfect will and plan. Most of the time – unfortunately – it’s not in line with our timing, and our perfect plan. The sooner we realize and accept that God has a definite purpose and will for our lives and that it is tied to His timing, the better.

However, it's not that easy, I know. Because it’s like, “why is nothing happening!? Surely, there is something I can do to move this along…” You see, being paced by grace may not always mean speed but simply accepting God's calendar and schedule. I have realized that this has nothing to do with what I feel it’s the time for in my life but it is about what season and time God says it is according to His perfect will and plan. Yes, I had gotten tired of being alone. Yes, I had gotten tired of being made fun of. And yes, I wanted to be a mother so bad and have a family of my own. BUT, was it on God's schedule and calendar for me in that season?

There are times when God’s timing will coincide with the earth and sometimes it won’t, and we should be able to tell the difference and then allow the Spirit of God to bring us into synchrony with His timing. It is very crucial for us to know and understand each season we are in and to do as God would have us do.

Over the years, I had to understand the times like the sons of Issachar. I had to awaken to the season I was in; it was a season of PREPARATION and fighting it would have prolonged it. The desire to not be alone didn't leave me, however, I yielded myself to God's perfect will and timing. I allowed Him to work on me until His Best For Me would awake from his deep sleep; a slumber which God would keep him in until He had finished fashioning me into his suitable help. Faith grew on the inside of me and despair left when I looked forward with great expectation to the time and season when God's Best For Me would find me and see me as bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh.

The question is, “Do you understand the time and season you are in?” “Understanding the Times” is a mindset and a lifestyle that greatly includes, but is not limited to, issues relating to the return of our Lord Jesus Christ. There was an amazing group of people in the Old Testament who lived that kind of lifestyle. They are called in Scripture the “men or sons of Issachar.” In 1 Chronicles 12:32, it was said that these men “understood the times and knew what Israel should do.” I believe God wants us to be spiritually sensitive and discerning people regarding all areas of our lives.

As the Spirit of God permeates your life, there ought to be an increased awareness of His perspective on the events taking place in your life. You should not look at things around you from the limited perception of your own experiences or what others say or think. It should not matter that you are close to or over 30 years of age and aren't married. However, you must be able to discern matters from the Lord’s viewpoint; His will and timing.

Many times we do not understand the season in which we are because we are so consumed by our plans and timeframe so much so that we do not ask the Lord what He thinks. At times we may even miss the move of God's Spirit and His work in our personal lives. The first step is to pray this simple prayer: “Lord, please help me to understand the season in which I am. May I not be dependent upon my or others’ opinions but always seek after Your accurate perspective on what you are doing in my life. I say yes to your will, methods, strategies, ways, and times which are all a manifestation of your wisdom. May you pace me by your grace.”

Don't let this Valentine's Day be a time to feel sorry for yourself and wallow in despair but a time to want to understand what season you are in and align with God's calendar. For some of you, it could be a season of PREPARATION, and for some a season of MANIFESTATION when all that has been brewing in eternity is about to manifest in the NOW for it is God's time. Manifestation is the meeting and coinciding of KAIROS and CHRONOS. Whatever the case may be, Understand the times, know what to do, and don't miss your prophetic season!